Even though it feels like freshman year was just a second ago, it also feels like I've been a Clemson student forever and that I've grown up so much from the girl who moved in not knowing anyone two years ago. I thought it would be fun to share some of the lessons I learned so far with y'all to help out all the incoming freshman or perhaps rising juniors like me who can't believe they're "old".
a picture from my freshman move in day- can't believe this was almost two years ago!
it is completely ok to have alone time
I'm an extrovert and I absolutely love spending time around other people. In college, you are around people constantly: you live in a noisy dorm room where you share your room and your bathroom, there's always people around on campus, and there's always things going on. It's totally ok to spend your afternoon by yourself and catch up on Netflix with a cup of hot chocolate or coffee. It's ok to run errands by yourself just to get some alone time. Sometimes it's hard because you feel like you're "missing out" on something but trust me, everyone needs a break every once in a while.
friendships will change
Your friendships from high school and your new ones at college. College friends I think are special as you see so much more of them as in high school, you see your friends at lunch or in class and then on the weekends. In college, you are with your friends all the time as you don't have old friends or family to fall back on so you grow a lot closer in a shorter period of time.
It's also ok for your high school friendships to look different now that y'all are in college. Let's be real, long distance friendships take work and effort. You can't put zero effort in and expect things to stay the same. You will all grow close to new friends at your new schools as well and that's totally ok and normal. So you may not talk everyday like you did in high school but catching up over breaks or even on quick FaceTime calls make it all so worth it!
time off campus is the perfect reset
Especially freshman year, it can feel like you're in a bubble at college. Everyone you see (except for professors) is your age and it is so easy to forget there is a world outside of campus. This sounds so weird but I feel like it is true for so many college students.
I've found that taking a bit of time and getting off campus, whether by yourself or with friends is so calming! I secretly love going grocery shopping by myself every once in a while and exploring the area around your school is such a fun activity to do with friends.
having a school-life balance is so important
Back in high school, school and the rest of your life are very separate as you go to school for 7ish hours and then come back home. Sure you have homework but you are not literally living at school like you are in college. Especially first semester, you may feel like you have to spend a ton of time working on school and studying. Yes, schoolwork is important but so is the rest of your life!
I think the key to this is to have at least fun thing going on each day, big or small. Some days that may be having a movie night with your friends while others it's catching up with a friend while studying together. This will help you not feel as burnt out and a lot less crazy!
no one cares as much as you think they do
This sounds bad but no, I do not mean that everyone around you does not care because yes they care about you or about their grades or whatever it is. What they don't care about? How you look going to class or if you look absolutely ridiculous waiting in the pizza shop in your formal dress (because I've been there). In college, I've learned it is so much easier to just do what makes me happy whether that is wearing yoga pants, no makeup, and hair in a bun for class or to look crazy singing High School Musical with friends in a restaurant in Italy.
Going off of this, I feel like we beat ourselves up over mistakes so much longer than other people do. Sometimes when you mess up, it's best to move on because usually everyone else has.
everything won't happen the way you want it to
Honestly, I'm still learning this one! I'll be the first to admit that I had some expectations for what I thought my college experience would look like. I would join that organization, take on this leadership position, or even ace that test. Sometimes, yes it works out exactly the way you want it to and otherwise, it doesn't. And it stinks as you think you're the perfect fit for that position you didn't get or you studied all you could for that test that you failed or you put your all into that friendship that fizzled out. But learning from those experiences is such a large part of what makes college college as taking what didn't happen the way you planned into something better is a great skill to have. And who knows maybe it will turn out better than you could even plan!
it takes time to find your people
I went to a tiny high school and honestly I was friends with most of my friends since elementary school. I, like most freshman, was nervous about making friends in college and honestly it is pretty easy to make friends in college as everyone is in the same boat. It does, however, take time for those friendships to develop and stick. Honestly, my friend group didn't really solidify until the start of sophomore year and I have made incredible friends both years of college. If it seems like everyone else is meeting their besties off of Instagram, just know it takes time!
you don't have to be besties with your roommate
I feel like it's a common expectation of freshman that they will be best friends with your roommate. Some people are best friends with their freshman year roommate, but a lot of people aren't. It's hard sharing a tiny shoebox of a room with anyone let alone a stranger so it's ok if you aren't totally best friends. I didn't have the best friend relationship with my roommate and honestly, most of the girls on my hall didn't. Rather than focusing on being best friends forever, focus on the relationship that works best for y'all: some people are friendly with their roomies and hang out in the room but not outside the room, some are super close, and some aren't at all (not saying that the last one is the best but if you do find yourself in that situation, just know it will all work out).
college isn't fun every single second of it
There I said it. I love love love college but would absolutely be lying to y'all if I said it was fun all the time. College can be crazy, it can be stressful, and at times you can feel like you are doing absolutely everything in the world wrong. It is absolutely, completely normal to feel this way but when you look at your friends from home's Instagrams or Facebook albums, it looks like they are having nothing but fun and you question if you're the only one struggling. But the thing is you don't put the picture of you freaking out over grades or the eighty million hours you spent in the lib on your instagram story.
it's okay to say no
I feel like at school, everyone is constantly doing something and is crazy busy all the time (I know every week feels like a crazy busy week!). I find myself wondering how other people have the secret to do it all, you know be involved in twenty million clubs, have time to study for all their classes, are always doing fun things with their friends, and somehow go to the gym too? The secret is no one has it together as much as you think they do and it's ok not to do it all.
Saying no is totally ok and you should be saying it. Whether it's saying no to going to a mixer as you need to study or even saying no to studying on a Saturday morning and saying yes to brunch with friends, it is so important!
be spontaneous
Honestly, I'm still not the best at this but I think those random ideas are where the best memories are made. It doesn't have to be big adventures either: taking a walk around campus with friends instead of studying or ditching the dining hall to go to Greenville for dinner are two spontaneous things that have made crazy weeks so much more fun!
What are some things you wish you knew before college? Let me know in the comments!
This is so so good! I would have loved to read this as a freshman!
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